It's been a few days and it still hits me like a bag of bricks every time I'm reminded of his passing.
This morning, an old acting coach of mine shared something that really resonated with me regarding Robin Williams and his death. He basically said that Robin had the amazing ability to be present in today's world, something that so many of us have lost. He was able to see so much; the person he was and the person he could be, the person he wanted to be. He saw the way the world was, the way humanity was in certain ways that not everyone else did. It's an amazing ability to have, to be so present and observant of the world around us, however it comes with so much baggage as well. When you have the ability to truly see something, you see it in all its glory and flaws. You can see how you want to change, but somehow can't get there. You're always looking for something to get better, but when it never does, it can get frustrating and overwhelming.
The world seems a little dimmer now that he's passed, yet it feels like he's even more present now than he was before. My heart is broken at the idea of another great man and artist being taken from this world. He was brilliant and kind and just one of a kind. When you grow up watching someone's work, it sort of feels like a piece of your childhood dies with them -- a piece of you dies with them. Suicide always leaves me with conflicting thoughts... so many unanswered questions. If only he could have felt the love that the entire world felt towards him for himself.
Oh Captain! My Captain! You will forever be missed.
"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." - Robin Williams, 1951-2014.